Legend of Korra Fanfic
by ZombieGoasts
Summary: The resident villain Amon has a conflict with a mysterious old friend. Who will triumph in this battle of wits, bending, and old grudges?


Amon was walking down the street one night feeling quite dejected indeed. In his hands held the crumpled remains of his masseuse school rankings. Of course, he was at the bottom. He was the worst masseuse that Republic City had ever seen, but gosh-dangit, he was going to keep trying until he became a full-fledged masseuse like his mom and dad before him. He was disappointed in disappointing his dead parents again, even though they were dead and probably didn't care. They always told him that he wouldn't amount to anything anyhow. Amon felt sad about all of this and threw his report card away in the trash. The he walked home and it was raining the whole time but he didn't care because he was an upset cool scary guy, and upset cool scary guys didn't care about things like that. That's just the kind of guy Amon was.

But then he got home, and was surprised that the door was open. He hoped that it wasn't a robber again. Last time a robber robbed his house, they took his xbox and his favorite pillow. The xbox didn't matter, but he was really upset about his favorite pillow. It takes a long time for a man to find a favorite pillow. It was a like a brother to him, and it had been cruelly snatched away when he was out harassing those earthbender punks who kept throwing rocks at him on his way to the massage parlor. He took away their bending, but it didn't replace the hole left in his heart from the pillow being stolen.

Anyway, Amon went into his unlocked house prepared for the worst. Instead, he was greeted by smoke and the strong smell of alcohol. There were burn marks all over his new carpet and this made Amon angry, but not as angry as he was when he saw the half-finished cans of beer on his coffee table _without coasters underneath them_. What kind of horrible person would do such a thing? Those rings would never come out his coffee table! He cautiously ventured into his room, where he saw a familiar figure lounging on his bed…

"Helloooooo, remember me?" slurred a manly voice. Amon stopped in his tracks; rage overtaking him. It was the intergalactic scumbag, Bender! And he was drinking all of Amon's fancy booze! He was saving it for a special occasion, and Bender had drank it all! Truly, such a crime could not go unpunished.

"Bender, we meet again," Amon said with deepest loathing. "I thought I got rid of you last time." "I'm 20% indestructiblium!" slurred Bender, and he fell off of the bed and farted and the carpet caught on fire a little. Amon was not amused. He hated it when his old college roommate Bender came to his house uninvited and ate all of his food and drank all of his alcohol. Enough was enough. This time he was going to make sure that Bender never came to his house again.

Amon leapt forward and poked Bender, trying to block his chi. The he remembered that robots don't have chi, so he grabbed a dustbuster and started whacking Bender with it instead. Bender used his stretchy arm and extendo fingers to reach across the room and grab a flowerpot and throw it, but he was drunk and his aim was off. The flowerpot smashed harmlessly against the wall near Amon, and Amon leapt forward and delivered a resounding thwack to Bender's head with his dustbuster as revenge for the poor plant that got smashed too. Then the dustbuster broke and dust got everywhere. Amon didn't care because he was wearing a mask. Bender caught Amon's nice curtains on fire.

Now it was time to get serious. Bender grabbed a girder and started bending it (Amon hated it when Bender did that) and Amon grabbed the object nearest him: a blanket. "Fabulous…" he thought ruefully to himself. Bender swung the girder at Amon, and Amon dodged it. The girder went through a wall and broke Amon's bathroom sink. Quickly, Amon flapped the blanket with all the grace of an awkward, pissed-off bullfighter that had a rock in one shoe and a missing other shoe (that is to say, not gracefully at all because his old robot college roommate was ruining his apartment again,) and covered Bender's head with it. Then he ran to his kitchen to get a pitcher of water while Bender fumbled with the blanket.

Amon came back with the pitcher of water and poured it on Bender's head! It got into all of his little electronics and caused a short-circuit! "Self-desctuct command engaged." Bender mumbled and he started sparking. Amon decided to end this once and for all, and pushed Bender out of his bedroom window. In one fluid motion, Bender fell and Amon leapt behind his couch like a Ballerina taking a very ungraceful fall to avoid the explosion.

And what a magnificent explosion it was. Some say it shook the entirety of Republic City. It lit up the dark and rainy night like fireworks, only with more flying sharp bits of metal. A tall tower of smoke wafted in the air from the site, and the police in their airships were dumbfounded as to how this could have happened. Amon got out from behind his couch. His apartment was ruined. His new favorite pillow and xbox had been destroyed in the explosion. Amon was safe because he hid behind the couch, but the couch was ruined now too. The front was, at least, but what good is an intact couch backside? He dusted himself off and went out to go buy himself some new furniture.

"I hate Benders…" Amon muttered to himself as he disappeared into the gloom of the night.

THE END?


End file.
